At this, Lancelot does sigh. He gives Magnus a long look, then takes up his glass to take a healthy sip of bourbon. When he sets the glass down again, he is sitting forward in his seat. If he is going to deal plainly with Magnus on this, he does not intend to hold back.
"Very well. My answer for you is some," he begins. "I cannot recall the order in which you gave them to me, but I shall group them in my own way."
He takes a breath. "I did not seek or read Odin's Plan: How to Have a Successful Afterlife because it does not pertain to me. I am not dead, and whatever afterlife I may have is unlikely to look similar to yours. Along the same lines, Who Moved My Cheese seemed to me ridiculous nonsense -- I did not understand the story or its relevance or how 'business' might function, and so 'twas useless to me."
Lancelot does not, let's be clear, give Magnus space to step in or respond. He barrels on.
"Two of the books you listed have to do with... self-esteem or managing things that have happened to you that have caused harm. I cared not to think on that in ways that asked me to write down my thoughts about -- well. I have things I must come to understand. I will not do so in a book, and I cared not to think on it any further in this way. Moving on: I came to some understanding of what are considered to be the Seven Heroic Qualities but found I needn't learn anything more. When I had my vigil and took my vows as a Knight in the service of the High King, I dedicated myself to similar qualities and have tried to live my life by those. I have failed, often enough, I am sure. But I continue to use that code to guide my thoughts and actions."
He takes a very quick sip of his drink. He has no intention of letting Magnus cut him off, because he knows that Magnus is looking for some weakness and he would prefer to get out everything he is thinking.
"This brings us to the matter of women, respect-- feminism," which he says very carefully. "Introduction to Feminism for Dummies did not seem to be something the library could provide. No matter. I did read The Second Sex and The Feminine Mystique." There is no need to say here that both of these gave him a considerable amount of questions for and discussion to have with Susan, but that is a very nice fringe benefit. "I think from these, I understand your meaning when you speak of feminism, and while I could find nothing I disagreed with, nothing that felt wrong, there was much that was hard for me to understand in terms of..." He squints, seeking the right term. "There are several hundred years to come, for me, before any of these are written. There are pieces of the world, a future world, I cannot understand. Here I would seek Susan's knowledge, but-- that isn't the point. I found interesting Beauvoir's points on monogamy; I think I agree. On homosexuality as well. I had not quite the same terms or understanding, but that is useful."
A tiny pause. "Still, the main concern with these is women and their lot in life. It was helpful for me to see, in each, experiences women have that are unlike my own. I had some small sense of it -- or rather, I recognized it as I read -- but the details had escaped me until then. The ways that our culture or laws, or expectations, or marriage may create a prison for women. In my time, it is rare for a woman to choose her own husband. The Queen does, I am sure, love the King, but theirs was not a love match and the Queen did not choose him. In my world, women are oft treated as possessions and exchanged between men -- I understand, a little better, what that may feel like. I understand some, I think, of why Guinever was so often angry. That was hard for me, because so often it felt she was simply angry at me for what I had or had not done, and because I love her it was my desire to do whatever might bring her happiness. For this understanding, I thank you. I can see, now, that I have had many advantages as a man that were not available to the women I knew, and I can see a little of how those limitations, the lack of ability to direct one's own life, may have led those women to certain actions."
At last he pauses, picks up his glass again, and says, "Does that appease you? Have we found common enough ground?"
no subject
"Very well. My answer for you is some," he begins. "I cannot recall the order in which you gave them to me, but I shall group them in my own way."
He takes a breath. "I did not seek or read Odin's Plan: How to Have a Successful Afterlife because it does not pertain to me. I am not dead, and whatever afterlife I may have is unlikely to look similar to yours. Along the same lines, Who Moved My Cheese seemed to me ridiculous nonsense -- I did not understand the story or its relevance or how 'business' might function, and so 'twas useless to me."
Lancelot does not, let's be clear, give Magnus space to step in or respond. He barrels on.
"Two of the books you listed have to do with... self-esteem or managing things that have happened to you that have caused harm. I cared not to think on that in ways that asked me to write down my thoughts about -- well. I have things I must come to understand. I will not do so in a book, and I cared not to think on it any further in this way. Moving on: I came to some understanding of what are considered to be the Seven Heroic Qualities but found I needn't learn anything more. When I had my vigil and took my vows as a Knight in the service of the High King, I dedicated myself to similar qualities and have tried to live my life by those. I have failed, often enough, I am sure. But I continue to use that code to guide my thoughts and actions."
He takes a very quick sip of his drink. He has no intention of letting Magnus cut him off, because he knows that Magnus is looking for some weakness and he would prefer to get out everything he is thinking.
"This brings us to the matter of women, respect-- feminism," which he says very carefully. "Introduction to Feminism for Dummies did not seem to be something the library could provide. No matter. I did read The Second Sex and The Feminine Mystique." There is no need to say here that both of these gave him a considerable amount of questions for and discussion to have with Susan, but that is a very nice fringe benefit. "I think from these, I understand your meaning when you speak of feminism, and while I could find nothing I disagreed with, nothing that felt wrong, there was much that was hard for me to understand in terms of..." He squints, seeking the right term. "There are several hundred years to come, for me, before any of these are written. There are pieces of the world, a future world, I cannot understand. Here I would seek Susan's knowledge, but-- that isn't the point. I found interesting Beauvoir's points on monogamy; I think I agree. On homosexuality as well. I had not quite the same terms or understanding, but that is useful."
A tiny pause. "Still, the main concern with these is women and their lot in life. It was helpful for me to see, in each, experiences women have that are unlike my own. I had some small sense of it -- or rather, I recognized it as I read -- but the details had escaped me until then. The ways that our culture or laws, or expectations, or marriage may create a prison for women. In my time, it is rare for a woman to choose her own husband. The Queen does, I am sure, love the King, but theirs was not a love match and the Queen did not choose him. In my world, women are oft treated as possessions and exchanged between men -- I understand, a little better, what that may feel like. I understand some, I think, of why Guinever was so often angry. That was hard for me, because so often it felt she was simply angry at me for what I had or had not done, and because I love her it was my desire to do whatever might bring her happiness. For this understanding, I thank you. I can see, now, that I have had many advantages as a man that were not available to the women I knew, and I can see a little of how those limitations, the lack of ability to direct one's own life, may have led those women to certain actions."
At last he pauses, picks up his glass again, and says, "Does that appease you? Have we found common enough ground?"